Ten Nights’ Dreams
Natsume Souseki
The First Night
Original Title: 夢十夜第一夜 (Yume Juuya Daiichi Ya)Date of publication: July 26th 1988
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Original text
I had a dream like this.
I was sitting at someone’s bedside with my arms crossed. The woman lying there was looking at me and whispering that she was going to die. Her long hair was spread on the pillow, framing her soft, beautiful face. Warm blood could be seen below the white skin of her cheeks, her lips were, of course, red. She did not look like she was dying. Yet the woman quietly, but clearly said she was going to die. I myself thought she was indeed going to die. There, you see, you think you’re going to die, I asked her, watching from above. I’ll die for sure, she said as she opened her eyes widely. Her big tear-filled eyes framed by long eyelashes were a single pitch black surface. My own appearance showed vividly deep inside her black pupils.
I stared at the luster of those black eyes that were so deep, my own figure seemed transparent, and I wondered if she really was going to die. And then I graciously put my face next to her pillow and assured her once again, I’m sure you won’t die, it’s alright. When suddenly, she said with sleepy eyes, speaking in a quiet voice, But I’m really dying, it can’t be helped.
When I asked her wholeheartedly, Well, can you see my face?, she smiled at me and said, If I can see, you ask, the sky, I can see it in your face. I remained silent and averted my gaze. While crossing my arms, I wondered if she really had to die.
After a while, she started speaking again.
“When I die, bury me. Dig the hole with a big shell. And use a star piece that is going to fall from the sky as my grave stone. And then wait next to my grave. I’ll be coming to see you again.”
I asked her when that would be.
“The sun shall rise. And then it shall set. And then it shall rise again, and set again. —The red sun moves from East to West, and as long as it falls from East to West — can you wait?”
I nodded quietly. The woman raised her voice over the silence a little, before she boldly said: “Please wait for one hundred years.”
“Please sit next to my grave for one hundred years. I’m sure I will come to meet you.”
I simply said I would wait. That was when my clear reflection in her black eyes started blur. A blur like water moving ever so quietly, it flowed away, when suddenly the woman’s eyes closed shut. Tears appeared between her long eyelashes and ran down her cheek — she was dead.After that I moved down to the garden and dug a hole with a pearl oyster’s shell. This shell was smooth with a sharp edge. Whenever I scooped up the earth, the moonlight would shine on the back of it. I could smell the damp soil. I spent a while digging the hole. I lowered the woman into it. And then I gently returned the soft earth. And once again, the moon shone on the back of the pearl oyster shell.
I went to pick up a star piece that had fallen down and gently tucked it in the ground. It was a round piece. Maybe the edges had been worn off during the long time it was falling from the sky. When I embraced the stone to erect it, my chest and hands felt a bit warm.
I sat down on moss. And as I thought that I would spend the next hundred years waiting here, I crossed my arms and gazed at the round gravestone. Just as the woman said, the sun rose in the East. It was large and red. And just as the woman said, it finally set in the West. It set, still a bright red. I counted the first day.
After a while, the celestial path gained back its crimson hue. And once again the sun set quietly. I counted the second day.
I spent the days counting along until I did not know anymore how many red suns I had seen. I counted and counted but so many red suns passed over my head. And yet the hundred years would not pass. Finally, I looked at the round stone overgrown with moss and wondered if the woman had deceived me.
Suddenly, a fresh stalk poked out from under the stone and grew into my direction. It grew as I watched it until it almost reached my chest. Instead, the stalk swayed and dropped its head ever so slightly to grow a bud which bloomed into puffy petals. The fragrance of the pearl white lily penetrated down to the bone. From far above, a drop of dew fell and the flower swayed under its own weight. I leaned my head forward in the cold mist and kissed the white flower. Without removing my face from the lily, I turned towards the sky and saw the morning star glimmer one more time.
That was when I realized: “The hundred years are over.”
I was sitting at someone’s bedside with my arms crossed. The woman lying there was looking at me and whispering that she was going to die. Her long hair was spread on the pillow, framing her soft, beautiful face. Warm blood could be seen below the white skin of her cheeks, her lips were, of course, red. She did not look like she was dying. Yet the woman quietly, but clearly said she was going to die. I myself thought she was indeed going to die. There, you see, you think you’re going to die, I asked her, watching from above. I’ll die for sure, she said as she opened her eyes widely. Her big tear-filled eyes framed by long eyelashes were a single pitch black surface. My own appearance showed vividly deep inside her black pupils.
I stared at the luster of those black eyes that were so deep, my own figure seemed transparent, and I wondered if she really was going to die. And then I graciously put my face next to her pillow and assured her once again, I’m sure you won’t die, it’s alright. When suddenly, she said with sleepy eyes, speaking in a quiet voice, But I’m really dying, it can’t be helped.
When I asked her wholeheartedly, Well, can you see my face?, she smiled at me and said, If I can see, you ask, the sky, I can see it in your face. I remained silent and averted my gaze. While crossing my arms, I wondered if she really had to die.
After a while, she started speaking again.
“When I die, bury me. Dig the hole with a big shell. And use a star piece that is going to fall from the sky as my grave stone. And then wait next to my grave. I’ll be coming to see you again.”
I asked her when that would be.
“The sun shall rise. And then it shall set. And then it shall rise again, and set again. —The red sun moves from East to West, and as long as it falls from East to West — can you wait?”
I nodded quietly. The woman raised her voice over the silence a little, before she boldly said: “Please wait for one hundred years.”
“Please sit next to my grave for one hundred years. I’m sure I will come to meet you.”
I simply said I would wait. That was when my clear reflection in her black eyes started blur. A blur like water moving ever so quietly, it flowed away, when suddenly the woman’s eyes closed shut. Tears appeared between her long eyelashes and ran down her cheek — she was dead.After that I moved down to the garden and dug a hole with a pearl oyster’s shell. This shell was smooth with a sharp edge. Whenever I scooped up the earth, the moonlight would shine on the back of it. I could smell the damp soil. I spent a while digging the hole. I lowered the woman into it. And then I gently returned the soft earth. And once again, the moon shone on the back of the pearl oyster shell.
I went to pick up a star piece that had fallen down and gently tucked it in the ground. It was a round piece. Maybe the edges had been worn off during the long time it was falling from the sky. When I embraced the stone to erect it, my chest and hands felt a bit warm.
I sat down on moss. And as I thought that I would spend the next hundred years waiting here, I crossed my arms and gazed at the round gravestone. Just as the woman said, the sun rose in the East. It was large and red. And just as the woman said, it finally set in the West. It set, still a bright red. I counted the first day.
After a while, the celestial path gained back its crimson hue. And once again the sun set quietly. I counted the second day.
I spent the days counting along until I did not know anymore how many red suns I had seen. I counted and counted but so many red suns passed over my head. And yet the hundred years would not pass. Finally, I looked at the round stone overgrown with moss and wondered if the woman had deceived me.
Suddenly, a fresh stalk poked out from under the stone and grew into my direction. It grew as I watched it until it almost reached my chest. Instead, the stalk swayed and dropped its head ever so slightly to grow a bud which bloomed into puffy petals. The fragrance of the pearl white lily penetrated down to the bone. From far above, a drop of dew fell and the flower swayed under its own weight. I leaned my head forward in the cold mist and kissed the white flower. Without removing my face from the lily, I turned towards the sky and saw the morning star glimmer one more time.
That was when I realized: “The hundred years are over.”